Phrase of the day: Self-Interested Altruism
Altruism is a topic that researchers and laypeople alike love to debate. Even though we are all capable of being altruistic, it’s not always clear how much is enough and what it means for us as individuals to be altruistic. Self-interested altruism may seem like a paradox, but research has shown that helping others can actually benefit us as well. This concept, also known as “altruistic egoism,” suggests that while our initial motivation for performing acts of kindness may be to benefit others, the act of helping can also bring us joy, fulfilment, and a sense of purpose. In this way, self-interested altruism can be a win-win situation: we get to feel good about ourselves while also making a positive impact on the world around us.
Warning: This topic can be really controversial so tread cautiously. Plus I’d love to hear your reservations about anything we discuss here. Okay, let’s go on…
What is self-interested altruism?
Self-interested altruism is a helping behaviour that helps you and the person you’re helping. It’s not selfishness, in which people only care about their own needs and wants. Selfish people are only interested in benefiting themselves from the relationship with another person, while self-interested altruists are interested in both parties benefitting from their relationship.
Self-interested altruism can be viewed as a win-win situation where everyone gets at least something out of it—or even better, everyone gets what they want most! Here’s an example:
Imagine a couple who love each other but also have separate hobbies they enjoy spending time on separately. This kind of situation often causes conflict because one partner feels neglected or ignored by the other when their interests aren’t shared (even if they are doing something they love). However, if that same couple decides to make some compromises so that each partner has enough free time for their hobbies without feeling abandoned by the other person all day long… then both partners end up happier because neither feels like they’ve given up too much freedom just to keep someone else happy!
How can helping others benefit you?
Helping others makes you feel good about yourself, and that’s something most people want. If you do something nice for someone else (or even just think of doing it), you feel happy and proud of yourself. This positive feeling will boost your self-esteem and make you more likely to help out again in the future. It is often linked with a sense of compassion and satisfaction that comes from giving back to your community.
Helping others can also help you learn new skills and meet new people, both of which contribute to an overall feeling of growth and fulfilment in life. When we help others, we often have the opportunity to learn new skills and expand our knowledge. For example, volunteering at a local organization may require us to learn new software or problem-solving techniques. These new skills can be beneficial in our personal and professional lives at the same time help us feel more confident and capable. We also get the opportunity to meet new people and form meaningful connections. These connections can help us feel more connected to our community and can even lead to new friendships and professional opportunities.
Finally, helping others can help you become happier by providing the opportunity for social interaction—which we all know is important for mental health! It also helps you feel less stressed out. When you’re stressed, it can be hard to focus on anything else—and this includes taking care of yourself. However, when you’re helping someone else or volunteering your time to a cause that’s important to you, your mind will naturally shift away from any negative feelings associated with stress and focus instead on the positive aspects of your life.
How to become more selflessly selfish.
Now that we’ve covered the important points about being self-interested altruists, it’s time to put what you’ve learned into practice.
- Be mindful of your actions: Is there someone at work who could use an extra hand? Do you know someone who’s trying to lose weight and would appreciate some support? Even if these things don’t seem like much now, they can add up over time and make a huge difference in another person’s life—and yours too! They’ll also make you feel good about yourself… which leads us right to our next tip!
- Identify causes that are meaningful to you: Choose causes that align with your values and passions, as this will make it easier for you to be motivated to help.
- Find small ways to make a difference: You don’t have to volunteer for hours on end to make a difference. Look for small ways to help others, such as picking up litter in your community or sending a heartfelt message to a friend in need.
- Get involved in your community: Look for opportunities to volunteer or get involved in your community. This can be a great way to meet new people and make a positive impact on the world around you.
- Practice gratitude: Take time to appreciate the good things in your life and express gratitude for them. This can help you feel more fulfilled and motivated to help others.
- Seek out opportunities to help others: Look for opportunities to help others in your daily life. This could be as simple as holding the door open for someone or offering to help a colleague with a project.
- Remember that helping others can bring joy and fulfilment: Remember that while your initial motivation for helping others may be self-serving, the act of helping can bring a sense of joy and fulfilment that benefits you as well.
Helping others can help you too, but of course, you have to do it “selflessly.”
Self-interested altruism is the idea that helping others can benefit you too. It’s a paradox because you’re helping others and it’s good for you, but there has to be a selfless element, or else it backfires. That’s why the key here is to do it selflessly. If you help someone because of selfish reasons, like wanting to ingratiate yourself with them or gain power over them, then it will probably backfire on both of your ends. Instead, make sure your intentions are pure—you genuinely want to help people for their sake rather than for yours. And when possible, adopt an attitude of gratitude: gratefulness is contagious and can inspire those around you to reciprocate in kind!
Conclusion
I have always been a strong believer in altruism, but now I realize that there is another side to it. By helping others, we can also help ourselves. It’s called “selfish altruism” and it is an amazing thing to experience and watch happen in your own life. The best way to start doing this is by doing something kind for someone else without expecting anything in return. You will see what I mean when you start doing this!
PS: This is Day Two of a 30-day journey! In this series, I highlight words and phrases that resonate with me during the month of January. I will be sharing every day for 30 days, on my blog, words and phrases, old and new that stand out to me. Follow me on Twitter to get daily reminders!
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